The Struggle of Stillness

Stillness is a struggle.As someone who frequently buys into the chaotic performance trap that is American culture, I often place more value in doing than in being. I seek validation through accomplishments, through doing more, rather than sitting and listening to His voice of love speak truth and identity over me.I love the idea of stillness and silence, of soaking in the Lord's presence, of clearing my mind of all distractions so I can receive what He has to say.But the application is harder than the idea. Intentionally carving out time to be alone in the quiet and contemplating His word doesn't feel productive, especially in a culture that places dollar signs on productivity.  Stillness is something I desire but often feel guilty for following through with. Questions like What should I be doing? and What do I need to get done after this? litter my mind during attempts at silence until, frustrated, I go back to "being productive" because I am impatient. Because I buy into the lie that if it's something I ought to do, it will come easily.I allow my mind to wander and return to a checklist mentality, rather than taking every thought captive and surrendering them at His feet, asking for an extra portion of grace so I may hear Him speak. But I want to take every thought captive. I need to.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

  I encourage others with scriptures like Psalm 46:10, convinced that sitting and reveling in the healing presence of God is something for those who have less to do, who don’t need to perform to have value, who are already “enough.” 

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;    I will be exalted among the nations,    I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)

 "Being still and knowing that He is God is a gift for other people, but not for me." I cringe even acknowledging my sinful mentality.Though I have the autonomous choice of stillness, however, I’ve realized that silence in His presence isn’t really an option in my faith.Stillness requires that I lay my need to perform, my means of validation, and my perception of value, at the foot of the cross.Stillness requires that I look into His eyes and declare my own inability to heal the broken places in my life, in spite of my greatest striving.Stillness requires that I trust in His ability to move, recognizing that my participation in action is not necessary for His mighty hand to make all things new.Stillness acknowledges that He is God. I am not. It is my job only to be still. 

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14)

  Stillness is for me, and it's for you. Though at times it feels uncomfortable to pause from productivity to sit with Him and hear His voice, I promise it's worth it. The healing presence of God is infinitely greater than any task, any striving.In His presence, everything is put in perspective and order is restored. In His presence, there is fullness of joy.

"You make known to me the path of life;    in your presence there is fullness of joy;    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (Psalm 16:11)

 Silence may feel like a struggle, but it's a battle worth entering. Because He is the ultimate reward.