Micah’s Musings: Learning to Rest

I have a problem with rest.There. I said it (or wrote it, rather).Resting is not something that comes naturally to me. I try to take a break from productivity, only to be overwhelmed by thoughts of to-do lists and deadlines. I lie down to take a nap, only to be awakened by the guilt-inducing feeling that I should be doing something better with my time. Are there any other “bad resters” out there? In case you’re unsure of whether or not you fall into this category, here are some signs that you too may suffer from this ailment:If you…-Always feel that you should be doing something productive…-Have a hard time doing nothing…-Live your life by a planner, assortment of to-do lists, or calendar reminders (or all of the above)…-Lie awake in bed at night, thinking about all that you have yet to accomplish…-Are always thinking about what your next step should be…-Feel guilty when doing something just because you want to…-Don’t do a lot of “fun things”……you might be a bad rester. These are some symptoms of a “bad rester,” and I’m sure that I am not alone in this struggle.The sad truth is that resting is largely underrated by society. We live in a world of constant chaos, busyness, and activities. Busyness is rewarded—praised, even. The more you’re a part of, the more accomplishments you achieve, the more experiences you partake in, then the more you are seen as “successful” in the world’s eyes.I’ll be the first to admit that I buy into the “do more” mentality all the time. It’s a constant struggle for me to stop, breathe, and remember that busy does not equate happy, and a full schedule does not make a “successful person.” Adding one more thing to my weekly to-do list will not make me more valued or loved. I know this to be true, and yet, I find myself constantly at odds with my desire to do more and be more in order to feel that somehow, adding these activities will make me “enough.”Working hard and having a life full of good things is not bad in and of itself. It’s the approach to the busyness that becomes the problem. It’s not that adding a new activity is wrong, but the reason for adding it can be. Take, for example, my fall semester of 2015. I had a full load of classes, I had jobs on and off campus, I was a teaching assistant for freshman, I was a writing fellow for a course, I was part of honors and leadership organizations, I participated in on-campus activities, and I still tried to get in shape and have a social life. Needless to say, I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. All the time. Just when I thought I was on top of things, more tasks appeared. Being involved in so many different areas was not a healthy level of busy, and while all these areas were good things, doing all of them together was not a good thing.Sometimes, 20 good things make for 1 huge, stressful mess that involves little sleep, peace, or joy on a day-to-day basis. At this level of stress, I could not enjoy any of the things I was a part of, because I was always looking ahead to what I had to do next. My attempt to be involved in so much had the opposite effect of what I wanted. I did not feel joy or fulfillment. Instead, I felt defeated because I could not successfully manage everything I wanted to do.Through this experience, I learned that it’s more valuable to pick the things I truly wanted to invest my time into and focus on doing a quality job in specific areas (versus trying to juggle 20 balls all at once and then wondering why I could only keep 4 in the air). I learned that I have to let go of the idea that I’m somehow less of a person if I’m not involved in everything. Most importantly, I learned that while society encourages me to submerge myself into a chaotic lifestyle, like everything else, I have to surrender this area of my life to the Lord and look to him for direction.When doing so, I’m pointed to a story that many of us hear in church and are familiar with, but forget to take to heart and put into practice. It’s the story of Mary and Martha:Luke 10:38-42 (New Living Translation)-“³⁸As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. ³⁹Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, ‘Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.’ ⁴¹But the Lord said to her, ‘My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! ⁴²There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.’”This is one passage of scripture that I hear so often that I don’t always allow the message to sink in. So, I took a minute to read it and truly think about its meaning.I am Martha. I fill my life with busyness and then complain to the Lord about how it’s all so overwhelming. It’s in that place that he gently reminds me of what truly matters: sitting at his feet. When is the last time I sat at his feet in adoration, eagerly listening for his voice, and not thinking about anything else? Yikes. The one thing Jesus says I am to be concerned with is the one thing I don’t make enough time for.As Christians, we are called to love Jesus, and while it’s easy to say we love him, it’s harder to prove it with our actions. Love requires time and sacrifice.Deuteronomy 6:5 says to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, and strength. Micah 6:8 says that the Lord requires us to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with him. Philippians 3:8 says to count it all as loss for the sake of knowing Jesus. Over and over again, the Bible clearly outlines what we are called to do, and nowhere in those commands does it say to load our schedules full, stress ourselves out, and lose sight of what truly matters: loving Jesus and loving his people. In fact, I think the enemy takes victory when we fill our lives with “good things” and lose sight of the best thing.When we are told to give it all to Jesus, where is the reflection of that in our actions? Do we truly surrender everything, or do we only give up the areas of our lives that don’t cost us something? There is a cost to following Jesus: we have to give it all.Time is something that I struggle with surrendering. It’s easy to say I love Jesus, but it’s harder to prove it in the way I spend my time—I don’t want to “check the daily devotional box” and move on with my life. I want to earnestly seek his face (Psalm 27:8), spend time sitting in his presence, and make time to love and serve his people.It’s not easy, and giving my time to the Lord and allowing myself to rest in him is something that I have to do daily. I know, though, that the discomfort of surrendering control is worth it, because in giving up myself and my desires, I receive the greatest reward: Jesus.This verse is another that is used often, but heeded little:Matthew 11:28 (New Living Translation)-“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’”This week, my journey to take these words to heart begins:I will give my time to the Lord and love him by seeking him first. Through his grace, I will seek to become more like Mary less like Martha. I will meditate on Matthew 11:28 and allow the Lord to give rest to all the weary, stressed out crevices of my soul. I will lose the “bad rester” mentality.I pray, reader, that this post will push you to become more like Mary too; that it will encourage you to love him with your words, actions, and time; and most importantly, that you will find rest in Jesus. Here is a song that helps me remember to rest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuhYZrn4flo