"Hold everything loosely..."
I am not God.
For those of us without a Jim Jones complex, this admission seems simple enough. Saying “I am not God” reminds us that we are not in control, nor should we try to be. But though I can freely say these words, I've realized my actions (speaking louder than my words) sometimes (often) say otherwise. I know in my head that I am not God. I was not there at the creation of the world. I did not send my son to save humanity. I cannot move mountains, change the future, or heal people.And yet, in spite of this knowledge, I have a detrimental habit of holding tightly to the reins of my life, thinking foolishly that the tighter I hold, the more it will affect my life. When I take a step back from my tight grip to gain perspective, I'm always reminded of a quote by Corrie Ten Boom quote that reminds me who truly holds the blueprints of my life and future.
"Hold everything in your hands loosely. Otherwise, it hurts when God pries your fingers open."
I like to have control.
That is a statement far harder to admit, but it’s the raw truth. I’ve grown up in a world where being responsible and making plans and running full force towards the future is encouraged. I've grown up in a society where busyness and a tightly-packed schedule earns me esteem as a "hard worker" and "go-getter". Having control has given me a good reputation, one I feel the need to maintain by controlling all aspects of my life— work, academics, friendships, family relationships, future career...the extensive list goes on.When I examine the source of my need to make plans and lists, I realize that in failing to fully trust the Lord and His plan, the root issue is a prideful heart in assuming that I know what's best for me. I make plans, asking God to bless them, because they are things society sees as "good" (academic aspirations, career plans, etc.)—but the truth is that unless his hand is guiding these decisions, it doesn't matter how "good" they seem. I have put myself in the position of "god"— a very dangerous decision.Perhaps the biggest issue with this sin of control is that it's accepted (encouraged, even) by the world. Work harder, strive for perfection, stay busy, do more. This is society's mantra I so often buy into because it promises success and safety and security. The truth, though, is that real success is obeying God's calling on my life, and apart from being inside his plan, there is no security.
He alone is God.
I think when I've read 1 Peter 5:2 in the past about casting my cares upon the Lord, I've always pictured a rest stop of sorts. I take a momentary pause from carrying life's burdens, sit with Jesus and tell him what's going on, and after catching my breath, I throw the backpack of baggage back on and keep trekking. The Lord's yoke is easy, though (Matthew 11:30), and his burden is light. I was never created to carry the weight that only my savior can handle, and in my prideful control, I take weary steps he never asked me to walk alone.Admitting that I don't know best and can't do it on my own is challenging, but the cost of surrender is worth the freedom that comes with not having to be the one in charge. When I let Jesus into the raw corners of my heart where hurt and insecurity and a need to "toughen up" live, I'm met with such gentle love. The tender care and direction he gives me proves infinitely better than my own way. Every time.Because I'm a human with a sin nature, control is something that I will die to daily (Romans 6:11). But when I surrender my pride and allow God to reign in his rightful position, I'm filled with such peace: I don't have to do it on my own. I don't have to know the future. I don't have to possess all the answers. I don't have to "measure up." All that he requires is my love and obedience (Deuteronomy 6:5; John 14:23). It truly is the greatest exchange of all.
Invite him in.
This week, I challenge you to invite Jesus into the raw corners of your heart and whatever lives there. Ask him to reveal the areas where you've put something else into his position as God. Experience the peace, joy, and freedom that come with following his design. With Jesus as the Lord of your life (in action as well as in word), you don't have to "be enough" or have control— you simply have to be his obedient child, reveling in the fact that you are loved with a deep, everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). This week, hold everything loosely. 