Spiritualizing Away the Pain
For a long time, I was the queen of spiritualizing away the pain. I had formulated responses when people asked how I was doing, and when things were less than sunny, I had a “spiritual spin” on the situation:
“It’s been a tough season, but I know God’s with me.”
“Yeah, it’s been hard, but at least…”
I wore the façade of holiness, when really, I was ignoring my pain.
Sound familiar?
For some reason, Christian culture often tends to equate false positivity with deeper levels of holiness. There’s a sense that if we’re never open and honest about our pain, we’re somehow more spiritual and selfless.
Honestly, though, pretending to be okay when we’re hurting isn’t an act of heroism. It’s actually dishonest. Spiritualizing away the pain only hurts us, our relationships, and our spiritual growth.
Trust me. It’s more convenient to feign strength instead of leaning into vulnerability. It’s also a lot more lonely.
I’m not sure where spiritualizing away the pain originated, but I know it’s not from Scripture. Throughout God’s word, we see examples of people openly and honestly laying out their pain. The Psalms are filled with raw, vulnerable confessions to God:
“All my longings lie open before you, Lord;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart pounds, my strength fails me;
even the light has gone from my eyes.”—Psalm 38:9–10
Relationship with God is the ultimate act of vulnerability! He knows every messy, broken, and painful piece of us—and yet, He still wants to hear us, be with us, love us.
Our relationships with God’s people also require vulnerability. This doesn’t mean that we bare the deepest parts of ourselves to each person we encounter. It does mean that we can choose to be seen, known, and loved by God’s people—regardless of what season we’re in.
Stepping into vulnerability is scary. I won’t pretend it’s not. But when we choose to stop pretending and lovingly speak the truth about our lives, we gain the gift of entering into deeper relationship with God and others.
Additional Resources on Not Spiritualizing Away the Pain:
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter and Geri Scazzero
No More Faking Fine, Esther Fleece Allen
