Trading Assumptions for Authentic Conversations
In a recent Substack newsletter, I shared about my interaction with a Muslim man in Morocco during Ramadan. In this conversation, there were no arguments over doctrine, no efforts to sway beliefs. Rather, he simply shared how his faith and relationship with God had made his life better. This kind, respectful conversation caused me to question why this gentle and genuine approach to faith discussions isn’t more common.
So, in this blog, I’m offering a few ideas for discussing our faith without trying to change others.
Ask questions from a place of curiosity rather than making assumptions.
Although we know people are far more complex than the stereotypes we may project on them, our human brains easily jump to conclusions with very little actual information. Rather than assuming we know where others stand—and asking questions accordingly—I imagine our questions (and the resulting discussions) might look very different if they came from a place of genuine curiosity about people and their thoughts instead of stemming from our pre-conceived notions about their beliefs.
Share how faith has been meaningful for you.
There’s nothing conversational about being told we’re wrong and need to think differently. And yet, this is how many of us were taught to engage others in discussions about our beliefs. If we’re actually looking for conversation and relationship with people as the end result of these discussions, we can focus on sharing how faith has impacted our lives as opposed to how others should shift their own belief structures.
Remember that sameness isn’t the end goal.
The goal of sharing your faith is simply that—to express how your beliefs and relationship with God have positively impacted your life. It isn’t to convince others to align perfectly with your beliefs. After all, consider that under the broad umbrella of Christianity, there are countless denominations, cultural expressions, and theological differences. Even within the same faith, we likely won’t believe the exact same way as other people—and that’s okay.
Release the fear of differences.
Because so many of us have been conditioned to believe we’re responsible for convincing others to think and believe exactly as we do, we also carry a lot of fear—fear that God will condemn us for not converting others, fear that we’re responsible for how others believe, fear that we’re doing it all wrong. But we don’t have to be ruled by these fears. We can put down these heavy burdens and simply be present in meaningful discussions. We can let go of feeling responsible for trying to convince others to believe differently. And we can release the fear of our differences with others in order to truly be present with them.
