Compassionate Reflection & Goal Setting
The season of reflecting on the past year and setting New Year’s resolutions is upon us. With this season often comes shame for not meeting expectations and creating idealistic goals to become better versions of ourselves in the coming year. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
In a recent Substack newsletter, I unpacked how I didn’t meet my 2023 writing goals—and how through compassionate reflection, I discovered that was okay.
This is not to say we shouldn’t have aspirations. Goals offer us purpose and intentional growth to pursue. However, we often set goals in a vacuum without considering all the other facets of life that consume our time and energy. So, we set lofty aspirations and then feel like failures for not meeting them when, in reality, we’re probably just overloaded or burnt out.
Thus, it’s paramount to practice curiosity and compassion in both reflecting on the year & achievements as well as in setting goals for the coming year.
Below are some guiding questions as you (gently, kindly) reflect on this year’s goals and look toward the new year. While this is certainly not an extensive list of everything you may want to consider, I hope it serves as a helpful start to the process.
Questions for Reflecting:
Did I grow or make progress (even if not to the level I’d hoped) in working toward this goal? If so, in what ways?
What was the intention behind the goal? Did I honor that intention (i.e. honoring my health through resting when sick) even if I didn’t meet the goal’s specifications (i.e. exercising 5 days a week for health)?
What things other than my goal consumed time and energy this year? How can I practice kindness toward myself as I realize all the other things I had to manage?
Did I learn anything about myself in working toward this aspiration?
How might I change my goals, or the ways I set them, using what I learned?
Questions for Goal Setting:
Why do I want to set this goal? Am I trying to punish myself for not achieving past aspirations? Or, am I trying to be intentional about growth and using my time in ways that matter to me?
How am I hoping to grow in working toward and meeting this goal? How do I want my life to look different?
Is this goal aspirational (writing 1,000 words a day) or sustainable (writing something—even a grocery list—every day)?
What’s realistic for me given my schedule and commitments? How can I honor my limitations?
Where in my life can I carve out intentional time and space to dedicate toward this pursuit?
Regardless of the year you’ve had, may you celebrate the growth you’ve seen and be kind to yourself in planning for the coming year.
